Storm

 

 

 

You knew.

 

"Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of Him to the other side, while He dismissed the crowd."

 

You sent them out...

 

Knowing.

 

"After He had dismissed them, He went up on a mountainside by Himself to pray..."

 

And then You withdrew...

 

Alone.

 

To pray.

 

Who were You praying for Lord?

 

Was Your heart aching for John?

 

Family...

 

Cruelly beheaded earlier?

 

Were You praying about that?

 

And yet...You knew about that too.

 

Surely.

 

Or were You praying for them?

 

That band of men who drew close to You... closer than any others.

 

Disciples.

 

Who knew You, but yet... didn't...

 

Disciples.

 

Who had just witnessed You feeding a multitude.

 

Multiplying food...

 

Concerned about more than just their souls...

 

Bread and Fish for the mortal body...

 

"...and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it..."

 

You knew Lord...

You weren't caught unawares.

Surprised.

You knew that there was going to be a storm.

Not once did You try to protect them from it.

You didn't urge them to stay with You.

You gave no timely advice of shelter?
 

 Storm.
 

You sent them into that storm...

 

You.


 

Knowing.

 

Knowing that even though they had just seen miracles abound...

 

They would look around them at the crashing waves.

 

Water raining down in torrents.

 

Gale force winds... whipping as if to steal the very breath from their bodies.

And they would forget.

Forget what they had just seen.

 

Lord You knew.  You knew that Peter... oh Peter...

 

Hot-headed, impulsive Peter...

 

You knew that he needed more.

You knew... that in the storm?

In the fear and the failing of the walk-on-water-that-wasn't?

That sometimes we need that.

Failure.

 

Peter didn't know that, of course.

 

But then again... do we ever?

 

We want the miracles.

 

Yes.

 

But we forget... that miracles are made in the storm.

 

I forget.

 

Often.

 

I forget that You know.

You know the incredible battle about to play out...

You know my bold-mouthed, small-faithed heart...

So much in common with that rough fisherman.

 

And still You send me out.

 

Into the storm.

No warning to seek shelter.

No still, small Voice to guide me away from the squall.

You send me out.
 

Because that is just where You want me.

Caught in the storm.

 

And then?

 You withdraw.

 

And I feel alone.

 

Abandoned.

 

Whipped about.

 

Because sometimes the wind is against me.

 

And I flail, thrashing in stinging salt-water waves that crash overhead.

 

Threatening to suck the very life out of me...

 

When all I can whisper... all I can breathe in hot fear-soaked breaths is:

 

"Lord... if it is You..."

 

If. 

 

Even though I have just seen miracles.

 

Just seen Provision.

 

Far above and more than I can ever conceive of.

 

"Lord... if it is You..."

 

And You know.

 

Praying.

 

Interceding.

 

For me.

 

Modern-day Peter.

 

 

 

Matthew 14 v 22 - 23

 NIV

 



xx gracegirl

of faith and courage...

 

Faith...

 

The Substance of things hoped for...

 

Things hoped for, but not yet seen... with the eye.

 

Seen though, with the heart.

 

They are known with the heart... the spirit feels them... claims them.

 

Even though they are still hidden...

 

This kind of faith... the kind of faith that holds out its hand in the dark?

 

It takes courage.

 

A great deal of courage.

 

And the precious things hoped for...

 

For aren't they always so infinitely precious...?

 

Those that we cup with gentle hands... and bring before Him... almost too afraid to place them at His feet...

 

For fear of disappointment.

 

For fear.

He understands...

He knows.

 

Those fragile needs...?

 

It doesn't matter what they are... really.

 

Only one question begs answering...

 

"Do you believe what Jesus said...  Do you believe what He said in His Word...?

 

The answer to this question... a question which will be flung at you every second of the day...

 

This answer?

 

It is crucial.

 

For it determines the outcome of the battle...

 

 And do not be mistaken... where this kind of faith is required... there is always a battle.

 

Always.

 

It rages in your heart... it rages in your mind.

 

It rages all around you.

 

Unseen.

 

But there.

 

No matter what the situation.

 

The challenge remains the same...

 

Do you believe what He says is true... even today?

 

Will you trust Him regardless...?

 

It takes faith.

 

Faith... which requires great courage.

 

Stand up... Hold your head up high.

 

Tuck the words of Your King deep in your heart.

 

And keep on walking...

 

Thanking Him for it every day... for it is done.

 

Present tense.

 

Unseen...

 

But done.

 

 

 

 

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see..."

 

Hebrews 11 v 1

NIV

xx gracegirl
 

 

what my heart needs reminding of...

 

He will feed His flock like a shepherd.

He will carry the lambs in His arms, holding them close to His heart.

He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young...

 

Isaiah 40 v 11

(NIV)

Emphasis mine

 

 

 

 

Every now and then, when fear and lies and distraction and well-meant opinions and
not-so-well-meant condemnations...

When these come scratching at the door of my heart...

Hissing and smirking at my insecurities...

Whispering their untruths to my fearful heart...

 

Then I need reminding, Jesus...

My heart... my spirit... my mind.

I need Your words...

 

Your truth.

 

To cut through the black.

 

To bring the Light.

 

That You...

The One who loved me first...

That You see my mothers-heart and know the lies that threaten.
That You know the failings I fear.

That before time for us came to be...

 You knew every step... every battle... every victory that was to come...

 

For me.

A Mother.

 

And for him.

Entrusted.

  The one whom You formed in my belly.

The one whose little heart beat with mine.

The one who shares the very fabric of my being.

 

And that even then... all those centuries ago...even then.

You knew...

That there would come a time that I would need Your promise...

You knew the heart of this Mother would need reminding...

That You will not let go.

Of a Mother who trusts...

You.
 

That You will feed.

The one she trusts You with.

That You will... 

Carry.

Gently lead... me.

Me...
 

And the one you blessed me with.

 

Always.


 

xx gracegirl