Sunday 5 January 2014

Just this...

 
I have no lofty goals of thin-ness... of even greater fitness... (finally) achieving financial freedom...
 
Making a more beautiful home.
 
No bucket-list of faraway travel to finally embark upon...
 
Not this year.
 
 
Old dreams.
 
Dead dreams.
 
 
I must confess that at times my heart... it's heavier than a (Jesus-free) heart should be...
 
 ...on the cusp of a gloriously
 
unwritten
 
new year.
 
Questions are many.
 
Answers?
 
Few.
 
 
Heaven
is
silent.
 
 
 Dark thoughts overwhelm...
 
Their tendrils seem to reach the deepest parts of me.
 
Shrouded in a fog that threatens to close in and strangle.
 
Suffocate.
 
My heart can barely whisper...
 
"Hold onto me dear God...
 
Don't let go.
 
For I just can't hold on to You anymore.
 
My strength...
 
It fails.
 
Me.
 
We have barely started.
 
Already I am tired.
 
Exhausted.
 
Afraid.

 
 
No.
 
No goals.
 
No lists.
 
No ideals to achieve and tick off.
 
 
 
Only this...
 
Gratitude
 
regardless...
 
Gratitude
 
 in spite of...
 
Gratitude
 
even when...
 
 
...even though...
 
 
Just this.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


1 comment:

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